


Liberator

by radovanryn



Category: Kingdom Hearts (Video Games)
Genre: Character Study, Gen, Guilt, Hopeful Ending, Introspection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-17
Updated: 2020-12-17
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:34:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28119288
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/radovanryn/pseuds/radovanryn
Summary: He’ll never admit it, but that old curmudgeon Yen Sid wasn’t the only one who doubted Lea was worthy of the keyblade. After all, how could someone who still wears the coat and wields chakram and shadow with ease be a guardian of light? [Pre-KH3, Lea/Axel character study.]
Comments: 4
Kudos: 9
Collections: From the Ashes: A LeAxel zine





	Liberator

**Author's Note:**

> This story was written for the fabulous "From the Ashes" Lea/Axel charity zine. Check out the zine twitter [FromAshes_Zine](https://twitter.com/FromAshes_Zine) to see all of the incredible art that was drawn and written for this project! <3

It’s funny, Lea thinks. Radiant Garden, his homeworld— _his home_ —feels almost as changed as _he_ does. The perfume of freshly-bloomed flowers can’t quite mask the lingering stench of darkness and decay, and the ambient sounds from the gurgling fountains is almost too loud for Lea, whose ears adapted to the near-silence of the Castle That Never Was long ago. Even the starry night sky seems dimmer than he remembers it, back when he and Isa used to spend hours stargazing and making up constellations that only they could see. There’s fewer stars, now, and Lea can’t find any of those old patterns and shapes.

With a wistful sigh, Lea indulges in a childish whim. “Starlight, star bright, first star I see tonight.” As he whispers the rhyme, Lea pictures his friends, and wills them _home_ with all his heart. “I wish I may, I wish I might—” His eyes slip shut. “Have this wish I wish tonight.”

Lea ignores the cynical voice in his thoughts, the one that sounds too much like him—like Axel—that tells him to _give up, already._ He’s already beaten the odds once, and besides that, what’s _he_ ever done to deserve his happily-ever-after?

Agitated, Lea reaches out and summons his keyblade, quickly dispelling the darkness that clouds his mind. _Flame Liberator._ Days later, and it still surprises Lea how naturally it comes to him. He’ll never admit it, but that old curmudgeon Yen Sid wasn’t the only one who doubted Lea was worthy of the keyblade. After all, how could someone who still wears the coat and wields chakram and shadow with ease be a guardian of light?

“Focus, Lea. _Focus_ ,” he says, scolding himself. He needs a distraction, so Lea spins his weapon’s grip once, then twice in an awkward figure-eight. Turns out, forging the keyblade was the _easy_ part. It’s unfair how simple the others make it look, even Riku with his odd reverse grip. Then there’s Sora, who prefers to two-hand his keyblade, just like Roxas used to… That is, until Roxas suddenly forged a second keyblade from who-knows-where. And in the dim recesses of his memory, Lea remembers how Ventus, Roxas’s mysterious twin, held a wooden keyblade backhanded.

Lea tries them all, but like the heart that weighs heavily in his chest, not one of them feels natural to him.

“Gotta find a target or somethin’,” Lea mutters, eyes scanning the empty plaza. “No use swingin’ at nothing, right?” He spots a weathered statue of a long-dead hero, and decides, “You’ll do.” He’s not at all bothered by his premeditated vandalism; after all, Axel committed far worse crimes.

Lea loses track of time as he gracelessly swings his weapon, and with each successive hit Flame Liberator unleashes a shower of sparks that fall like shooting stars onto the mosaic tile below. Lea feels wild, completely out-of-control; it’s as if his keyblade is guiding him, and not the other way around. Like an extension of his heart, Flame Liberator gives substance to Lea’s fear, fury, and his all-consuming need to prove himself.

_Sloppy_ , Axel’s voice taunts him. Lea misses his attack, then the next. _Pathetic._

Frustrated, Lea dances back. Muscle memory has him spinning the keyblade’s hilt like Axel’s chakram, and the blade flies out of his grip without conscious thought. To Lea’s delight, Flame Liberator hits its mark, and with a wicked grin Lea calls it back. Fighting up close and personal has never been his style, Lea thinks, teeth bared as he lets the keyblade’s momentum lead him into a spinning attack.

And yet, it still isn’t _enough_. Axel’s cruel laughter echoing in his mind, Lea unthinkingly catches Flame Liberator’s rotating blade in his left hand, sparks flaring as the weapon splits into two spinning whorls of flame. Lea’s fingers curl around all-too familiar crossbars unconsciously as warm, living flame gives way to sharp, polished steel.

_Eternal Flames._

Despite the heart beating, no, _pounding_ in his chest, Lea feels himself relax into his—Axel’s—instinctive battle stance. It’s unnerving how this, rather than his keyblade, feels natural—as if he’s _come home_ at last. Disgusted, Lea throws the chakrams to the ground, where they dissolve in a plume of smoke and ash. He can still feel them, though, corrupting his heart like poison.

Was he foolish to believe that the keyblade meant that he was different, that Lea was _good_ now?

_We’re not so different, you and I,_ Axel whispers as Lea glances down at his hands, still encased in well-worn leather. The darkness beckons, black wisps curling around his outstretched fingers. Who’s he kidding? He should leave the heavy lifting to the real heroes, and instead slip quietly into the night like the _traitor_ he is.

“No one would miss me,” Lea mutters, because unlike Roxas, Lea has no one to leave behind. Not anymore. The darkness swells as Lea lets himself picture it, how _painless_ it would be for him to disappear into the shadows. Just a flick of the wrist, and Lea could be free.

It’s what Axel would do.

Lea’s heart pangs with half-remembered feelings of guilt and shame, and with a sigh, he lets his hand fall. Sure, it’d be easy to run, but Lea knows he’d never forgive himself if he abandoned his friends to their fates. They’re relying on him, Isa, Roxas, and—

_I’ll always be there to bring you back!_

Flame Liberator reappears at his side in a blazing inferno. Like a star glittering in the night sky, Lea’s keyblade shines brightly in the deserted plaza. The blade still feels awkward and heavy in his grip, but in time, Lea will learn to bear its weight. Axel, no, _Lea’s_ been running for too long. Been _selfish_ for too long. It won’t be easy, but if he’s gonna be better— _and he is_ —then this, _Flame Liberator,_ is his promise.

“I wish you were here,” Lea says, eyes fixed on the far-off stars that twinkle off in the distance. “But I swear I’ll bring you all home.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, and if you liked this story please leave a kudos or a comment, or share the love over on my twitter ([@radovanryn](https://twitter.com/radovanryn)). Your encouragement and support means a lot, thank you. <3


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